5 O'Clock

“Here's to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.”
― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned

   The air was filled with the sounds of the many nine-to-fivers who had bustled into the restaurants booze promising walls. Sipping my long-awaited liquid tranquilizer I quickly scanned the room.

   Balding men and suit-clad, middle aged women hunched over appetizers in close, but loud conversations about office life; work-life. My nerves, like a bed of exposed hot-wires, were slowly silencing their current with every sip. Vaguely aware that I was covered in the spit of the thirteen patients I had seen in the last eight hours, I tried to smile winningly at my comrade in arms.

   "So how was your day?' I asked, knowing some sordid tale would follow.

Three for the Price of One

   I am officially promoting the new HBO series "Girls" to any woman who suffered through her early twenties and felt she barely made it through alive. Its a show about the emotional little wars we all bare scars from to this day. Basically, if you have a sense of humor at all, you'll love it.

  There's even some funny shit and soft porn in there for the guys. The "soft" part meaning awkward and hilarious. Watch it. Laugh. Thank me later.

Spring is finally the f*** here.

Open Wide, Please....

   "I find that most men would rather have their bellies opened for five hundred dollars than have a tooth pulled for five." ~Martin H. Fischer

   When an adult person sits in a dental chair we expect they will try their hardest to accomodate us as much as we accomodate them. Its a relationship, not fast food.

   Unlike an animal, who is without human reasoning and language, we expect you understand our needs when we voice them to you. Case in point: when asked to open your mouth a little wider, we just expect you know what that means and how to perform such a feat. Often its adults who find this request somewhat difficult, while children will readily give your their biggest alligator mouth possible.