Flossing: (verb) To show off something that is of high value.

"Every tooth in a man’s head is more valuable than a diamond." ~Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote, 1605

   

     Flossing, by the Urban Dictionary definition, describes an act of showing off something of value in hopes of frequently getting laid. I am here to explain that this idea and word originated in the Dental community with a thin piece of twine, commonly referred to as "Floss". When used properly, said Floss can in fact help one to show off something of value. That something being a fantastic set of original, healthy teeth, regarded throughout the world as being quite sexy.

    The contact surfaces of your teeth (in between, where the teeth touch) make up 40% of your tooth surface. The truth is,  my friends, you need to floss. Everyday. This is not a bourgeosie construct darlings. Two dollars worth of floss can save you thousands in the future, as well as upping your chances of getting laid a hundred fold in the meantime.

    Not flossing causes gingivitis, bad breath and interproximal cavities galore.  Don't floss and reap the rewards of actively rotting flesh in your mouth. Every time you speak your mouth will sing the tales of your reluctance to tend to your gums and it will not be a pretty song.

    Do the right thing and invest a dollar and some time to cleaning out your tooth crevices. Just remember, when you finally get that hottie over for the night, the one you've been waiting to get down and dirty with, they will notice if you don't floss before turning out the light. They will think it is gross and will wonder what else you don't clean.